Just diagnosed with HIV
If you found out today, or this week, this is the short version of what I wish someone had told me. It takes a few minutes to read, and nothing on this page asks you to sign up.
If tonight feels unbearable
If you are thinking about ending your life, please talk to someone now. In the UK, Samaritans are on 116 123, free, day or night. THT Direct is on 0808 802 1221. Wherever you are, the crisis page has a number for your country.
Crisis resources, by countryThree things that change the picture
Treatment works, and it works quickly
For most people it is one tablet a day, started within days or weeks. The virus usually becomes undetectable within a few months, and with treatment life expectancy is close to anyone else's.
NHS: HIV and AIDS ↗Undetectable means you cannot pass it on
Once treatment has kept the virus undetectable in your blood, you cannot pass HIV to a sexual partner. Not a small risk. No risk. This is settled, and it is known as U=U.
aidsmap: undetectable viral load and transmission ↗In the UK, treatment is free for everyone
HIV treatment on the NHS is free whoever you are, whatever your immigration status, and whether or not you are registered with a GP. You can refer yourself to a sexual health clinic without going through anyone else.
Terrence Higgins Trust: living well with HIV ↗What usually happens next
- 1An appointment at an HIV or sexual health clinic. You can refer yourself; you do not need a GP to do it for you.
- 2Blood tests. A CD4 count, which is how your immune system is doing, and a viral load, which is how much virus is in your blood.
- 3Starting treatment, usually soon after those tests, sometimes the same week.
- 4Follow-up tests over the next few months, watching the viral load fall until it is undetectable.
Your clinic is the place for anything about your own treatment. We are people who understand, not clinicians, and we will always send you back to them.
The part nobody prepares you for
None of the hard questions in those first weeks are medical. Who do I tell? Will they look at me differently? Am I still someone anybody would want? Do I have to say this out loud at all?
I was not registered with a doctor when I was diagnosed, so getting into the system took a great deal of doing, and the waiting was long. All the while I did not know what was happening in my body, and I did it around a day job, with nobody to say any of it to. Getting treatment was hard. Doing it alone was harder.
That is the whole reason this exists. Not for the medicine, which the clinics do well. For the part where you need to say something at 2am to somebody who already knows what you mean.
Somewhere to talk, when you want it
Talkpositive is a free, private community for people living with HIV. No real name needed, nothing public, nothing in search engines. Small rooms by what you are going through, including one for people who were just diagnosed, and quiet one-to-one conversations that open only when both people have said hello.
Have a look at TalkpositiveOther places worth knowing
- Terrence Higgins TrustSupport, groups and THT Direct on 0808 802 1221.
- Positively UKPeer support and mentoring, by and for people living with HIV.
- NAM aidsmapClear, reliable information about HIV and treatment.
- i-BasePlain-language treatment guides, written for patients.
Groups and events run by these charities are listed here too. See what's on